Equinox.
Ethan and I married each other yesterday evening. This first of two weddings took place on the eve of the autumnal equinox. Our friend Molly, a minister of the Universal Life Church, officiated; her husband David smiled and looked generally radiant in his too-cool-for-words top hat; and Zhenya and Jo Ann, my brother and sister in law, witnessed. In attendance was also my four-year-old nephew Tesher, injecting his usual whirlwind excitement at the world.
I met Ethan at Burning Man 2003. Took off driving across the country after that event, not knowing whether I’d see him again, but knowing that something was right with the world. That was August last year.
September we spent largely on the telephone, surprised again and again at the similarities in the worldviews we had developed so carefully before we knew each other. In October, he visited me for three weeks that seemed a long, crisp, sunny day full of tea and quiet work side by side. In February, he moved out to Providence from Seattle; in June, we found ourselves a different apartment to live in. Just over a year after seeing each other – really seeing each other – across a dusty nighttime dome for the first time, we wed.
Ethan is calm and centered, our friend Alex remarked last week, when we visited him in Chicago. Yes, and he’s almost supernaturally intelligent, kind and hilarious. His capacity for caring about other human beings, whether he knows them or not, has inspired me to live more fully, and more simply. His approach to the breakneck pace of daily life that has characterized our first year together continues to remind me what is important, and what isn’t. His encouragement of my professional choices, and the days he has spent working with me on humanities computing tools (another coinciding interest!) is heartwarming. He’s an experimental soul, in just the ways I like. I feel more fully realized as a person.
We got dressed up and went for sushi, because can you really picture any large event in my life not being centered around food? It was noisy and hectic in that little room, but both the company and the food were impeccable. Zhenya, Jo and Tesher had driven up all the way from New York, and later took off again with cheerful fortitude. Molly and David stayed with us, long enough for us to get a coffee together. Smiles all around.
Now, we’ve formalized it. Now, as we settle in for the winter, we dream of spring, when we’ll get married all over again, with friends and family around us. Really, this has all been a ploy to have our wedding night last many moons.
We didn’t get much sleep last night. I am bleary, happy. All is right with the world.
Some of yesterday’s photos are here.
