Seattle.

Hm, I think that generally the article is right. But there are still certain subcultures that remain relatively friendly. Maybe they’re less friendly than they would be in another city, I’m not sure. It’s not impossible to make friends in Seattle, though it’s easier if you already know someone who can introduce you. I think we do tend to be kind of solitary people though.

I don’t think it’s just Seattle, I had a hard time finding people to hang out with in Portland too, I had to make friends online who happened to be in Seattle then come to Seattle to hang out with them. So I think the whole PNW is probably a bit like that. I think I’d have a hard time figuring out if it’s different elsewhere because I take my solitary nature with me when I go anywhere else.

I’ve found it easier to make friends here in Seattle than I did in Boulder.

There is a certain passive-aggressive behavior in its citizens, but it’s barely enhanced over that which I’ve seen in other coastal areas. There’s definitely an additional geek/aspergers/socially-awkward vibe, but it seems to me that you get along with geeks enough to interpret their behavior correctly where it seems that the Seattle Times reporter does not. Seattle seems to be a city whose entire culture was founded by the uncool kid, and so if you were the popular kid, I suspect you’d have trouble here. (Yes, that’s a radical and unforgivable oversimplification, but sometimes stereotypes are useful…)

I also have a feeling that this is much more about work communications and redmond-esque suburbanism than it is about city life. In Capitol Hill, I know the names of many of my neighbors (even the ones I know only because they’re neighbors), and things are generally pleasant.

Then again, I’m perhaps not the most social guy in the world, so the default of people expecting that I don’t want to be bothered works pretty well for me. But that’s totally different from rebuffing attempts at meaningful contact, which I haven’t really experienced.

It’s a west-coast thing. It’s not really freezy, it’s just that west-coasters are very friendly and casual, even with strangers, and that can lead people who don’t know the social clues to assume an intimacy that doesn’t, in fact, exist.

Having said that, my experience of Seattle is that that article is bullshit. I had no problem making friends there.

I think there is some truth to the article. In New York transplants quickly get indoctrinated into the gregariousness of the city. Even if you don’t particularly care for people, you learn to handle being in close quarters with them. Seattle is still a city ruled by the automobile. It is friendly, but in the beginning I found it to be icy in the extreme beyond the borders of my own social network. Working at Victrola has made it easier to navigate the weird social boundaries, but I think their is a strange bit of not-quite-urbanness that alot of residents and transplants don’t overcome.

I think there is a passivity to the west coast that lends itself to people being more internally hermitish.

That article is right on the mark - regardless of what some native Seattleites may think. Many of them think of their city as infallible - the most friendly and happy and liberal and diverse and compassionate and etc. etc. etc. It’s very amusing to talk to those people about East Coast cities like Boston, New York, or Philadelphia - many people in Seattle think that those cities are unfriendly, impolite, or even openly hostile. On a very brief cursory examination of the initial social habits and interactions in those cities, they very well could be correct - but upon even the most simple attempt to dig into the social culture of the east coast, they would be sorely mistaken.

Seattle and Boston are easy to compare. They’re structured relatively similarly, they’re set right on the water, and they’re exceptionally literate and well-educated. They have coffeehouses galore, cool bar scenes, a sometimes misunderstood passive-agressive relationship with their sports teams (and sometimes their city culture in general), and colleges all over the place. However, the two couldn’t be further apart socially.

In Seattle, it’s easy to talk to people on a surface-level. Complete strangers WILL say hello to you and ask you how your day has been - which gives a visitor a false sense of “friendliness” - but then they will walk away from you and not even give the conversation a second thought. Breaking into the social scene and making “true” friends (rather than casual acquaintances and occasional coffeehouse contacts) and is exceptionally difficult and takes much more effort and time than most people are willing to spend.

On the east coast, however (Boston, NYC, Philly, even Burlington, VT and Portland, ME) - they are right to assume that people are less “friendly” up front. Some people might replace “friendly” with “fake.” People tend to be negative at first - it is very difficult to talk to someone right away on the east coast - they come of as short, terse, and sometimes downright nasty. People avoid eye contact quite a bit of the time, don’t talk on the subway, and move in packs. BUT…if you can get past this facade of negativity, it is VERY easy to become fast friends with many many people in a short time. They are much more likely to accept you - the angry facade is almost like a test. You have to be willing to insert yourself into the social scene - if you can do that, you will make friends and a lot of them, at that.

Myself, I would much rather have to fight through the tense 30 seconds of East Coast negativity than the 2-year test period of passivity and apathy that you find in Seattle.

Ok I’m a bit late - because I’ve been contemplating moving back east - (home to me) - Sorry folks - been in Seattle for over 14 years - still haven’t made a friend - only acquaintences….Seattle is beautiful but I’m moving back home to NYC.